OH NOES. SHE DEAD.
terza rima - reference to the three wise kings, and because I am too lazy to seek out a more challenging form
alexandrine - twelve days of Christmas, and because someone challenged me to do it
dactylic tetrameter - just kind of happened (actually, it was pretty obnoxious but decidedly less so than iambs)
In defense of my somewhat bland rhymes: pyrrhics are hard to rhyme, yo.